Saturday, 13 March 2010

One of life's questions ...

Q - Why am I fat?

A- Because you eat too much and don't exercise.


Life ...

I wake up. I wearily wash my face in luke warm resignation. As I look around the wretched room, it makes me wonder how on earth I have ended up here. What has happened in my life that dictates that I am reduced to living in this hovel?
Did I orchestrate my own demise or was it predetermined that this is my life?
Is this my life just for now?
Has my Maker got other plans for little old me that won’t play out until I have paid my penance?
I look in the mirror and see my reflection staring back at me. Is that me? She sure as hell seems familiar. Surely it’s not me. The image looks sad, lonely and unresponsive. She has deep hollow eyes. Her hair is a cheap nasty yellow colour with dark brown roots desperately trying to escape. It is the sort of face that you would cross the road from in order to avoid any sort of contact with. It is me.
I would like to say that I was once a nice girl with a nice home and loving parents. I would like to say as well that once upon a time I had a good job with real prospects. But alas…it would be a lie. All lies. Born bad, that’s me all over.
See, this is the thing, logic dictates that we cannot help our upbringing. You all have sympathy for the children of incapable and ineffective parents. But woe betide those poor little strays when they turn into adults. Who cares then? Ill tell you who cares…no-one.
Personally myself, I was the result of an imbecilic wanton slut and a naïve inexperienced petty thief who were thrown together by pregnancy. Their union was an angry piece of cinema history in the making. They would have wiped the boards, no question.
So, here I am staring at the peeling wallpaper and filthy linoleum floor, and I’m wondering why?
Why is it that I am incapable of leading a normal life?
I see you all every day going about your business, meeting for lunch, shopping, taking your children to the park. I see illicit meetings and drunk fuelled revelry. I see too much. I want to be a part of your life, but I don’t know how too. When I approach, I see fear in your eyes, I see mothers pull their children close to their breasts to protect them. I am human and I do have feelings, please stop shunning me. Slowly, very slowly I am dying. And when I die, I want to return as the morning dew, each and every day. I want to be moist, fresh, pure and renewing. I want to be the champagne that covers the hedgerows and lawns in the morning. I want the one thing that’s lacking in this life at the moment. And that one thing is … … …Hope.


How does one acquire the skills

In order to partake

Plath out the words?

Then take my place

Along with all you fakes

Ivory Tower

As I sit here in my ivory tower
Holding all the cards but none of the power
It dawns on me; why am I here?
Logic and reason just doesn’t seem clear

Cars, Holidays and Money do not mean a dot
Yet there’s envy in your eyes
You want what I’ve got
Do think that my kingdom is happy and gay?
Sun always shines
A life so divine
Well… you know the old saying…you know what they say
If you think it’s so great…walk in my shoes for a day

Tedious boredom
Fruit full fit to burst
Never a pleasure
Always a curse

So next time you crave my life Dear Friend
Close your eyes tightly…pretend
And remember as you sit in my ivory tower
You’re holding the cards but none of the power.

Judgemental eyes

Casting aspersions with judgemental eyes
Ignorance etched on your skin
Generational genocide encoded with hate
Impregnating your glorious genes

Impotence coursing through your veins
Your inability to grasp
Forward thinking for your fellow man
Pathetically trapped in a prejudicial past

Sins of the father
Bestowed on the son
Ethnicity now a by word for scum

Empirically you gloat castigating my culture
Lurking on the side lines like a ravenous vulture

But I will rise and gently hold your biased hand
And guide you through the Promise Land
With eyes anew your sight will see
That all mankind is equally and eternally free

Liberation from this fraudulent farce

I love your wicked disrespect
How you absconded and broke free
From the chains that tried to bind you
To the poets code for all eternity
You thought to hell with all that shit
I have my axe to grind
You cast aside the literary bonds
And no longer were you blind
Free you were to use the words
Whichever way you choose
Artfully awakened via the adrenalin
You released your dormant muse
You do not play with words my friend
Your writes are real and not pretend
No descriptive flowery language here
No metaphors in pride of place
Should you run and hide under the nearest stone?
For being the modern day poets distasteful disgrace
So … Fuck the poet’s philosophies
They can shove them up their arse
I’ll take the lead from you my friend
Liberation from this fraudulent farce


Sensing your breath upon my skin
Mind shuts down
Vision begins
Melodically the chords wrap round my heart
Soul surrenders
Starts to depart

Of we fly to our magical land
You with your beloved cypress guitar in your hand
Me with that dress, castanets and red shoes
Music and dance forever infused

Cejilla is raised
Ready to perform
Sheer brilliance exudes
Bailador now transforms

Out I step in a frenzy of heat
Blind to the audience
Tuned to the beat
Enraptured I capture and quicken my pace
Brazenly displaying my posture and grace
Fierce pride and tears
Displayed through the dance
Gypsy blood never leaves nothing to chance

I toss back my hair full of contempt
Hypnotic eyes alluringly teasingly tempt
Crescendo building
Gathering yielding
Dark feelings consume and make us all whole
Duende is like catharsis for the soul

Performance now over
Back to the hills
Heat of our passion
Emblazoned with thrills
Religiously we flaunt the original sin
Immortality secured deeply within
Bodies now tired
Sleep must begin
Sensing your breath upon my skin


“Love animals…Don’t eat them”
On the back of the truck
Do they really think that we give a fuck?

As far as I’m concerned they are there to be eaten
Does it matter so much if there battered and beaten?

The food chain is there for a reason my friend
Lentils and rice don’t appeal; why pretend?

Morels and ethics
You use as your source
So neatly nurtured from your feminist course
Stroking your egos with ignorant bliss
Never to experience that succulent kiss

Steak starts to sizzle; Smell starts to ensnare
With wild abandonment I just don’t care
Juices cascading
Rivers of fun
Full and content now
Deliciously done

So take your morels and give them a poke
And as you swallow your ethics
Try not to choke.

Vacuous Girls

What is it about Vacuous Girls that makes you want to slap them around the face with a wet fish!!!

Mommie Dearest

Today I looked into the eyes
of the woman that is
my mother.The vessel that carried
me for nine months. The vessel
that fed and nurtured me.Kept me
deep within the safety of
the ancestral womb. The vessel that
shielded me from harm. The vessel
that continually protected me
from any danger.

Then the fucking bitch went
expelled me out into
a world that cared
even less than
she did.

And do you know what?
Do you know what I felt?
Do you know
what I felt when I looked
into this
woman’s eyes.
Fucking nothing

Now ..

How fucking sad is that?
I mean how is that so?
Why is she so vacant?
Does she not care?
Is she incapable of love?

Well actually she is capable of love
that I can attest to.
Its just not any of her children
or her husband.The only thing that
I have ever
seen this woman love
is the fucking dog!
I mean come on
It’s a fucking dog

So do you know what
I have decided
on something.
When I come back
When I return
I will return as her dog
Then Everday
Every fucking day
I will shit and piss in
every fucking room
in her piss poor fucking
of a house
in the middle of a council
estate that is overrun
fucking pikies
and druggies
and prostitutes

Enjoy …